THE LAST TURKEY

A dustman is going along a street picking up the wheely bins and
emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the
bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the
back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door.

There's no answer so he knocks again.

Eventually a Japanese bloke answers... "Harro", he says

"Alright mate, where's your bin?" asks the dustman.

"I bin on toilet" replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.

Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the binman smiles and
says "No mate, where's ya dust bin?"

"I dust bin on toilet I told you" says the Japanese man.

"Mate" says the dustman... "you're misunderstanding me...where's your
Wheely Bin?"

"OK" "OK" , says the Jap, "I wheely bin having wank."

Some lies doing the rounds on the Internet about Barack Obama:

Barack Obama is a radical Muslim who will not recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Barack Obama will be sworn into office on the Quran.

Barack Obama has been endorsed for President of the U.S. by the Ku Klux Klan.

Barack Obama's presidential campaign is being funded by Hugo Chávez.

Access to Michelle Obama's senior thesis has been restricted until after the 2008 presidential election.

Photograph shows Barack Obama holding a telephone upside down.

The Book of Revelation describes the anti-Christ as someone with characteristics matching those of Barack Obama.

Barack Obama does not qualify as a natural-born citizen of the U.S. because his mother was too young.

Barack Obama announces every time he claps a child in America dies from gun violence; kid in classroom tells him to stop doing that.

The bulk of donations to the Obama campaign come from a handful of wealthy foreign financiers.

Barack Obama "blew off" U.S. soldiers during a July 2008 trip to Afghanistan.

Alicia Keys and Jack White have recorded the title song for the next Bond film - the first duet on a 007 soundtrack.

Since Sir Paul McCartney and Wings were nominated for an Oscar for the theme song to Live and Let Die in 1974, only one singer’s career has been boosted by cutting a Bond title track. Sheena Easton, the daughter of a Lanarkshire steel worker, went on to sell more than 20 million records after her performance on For Your Eyes Only helped to make her name in the United States.

For 12 other artists and bands in the same period, a 007 commission offered more of a licence to fizzle out. Duran Duran and Garbage broke up soon after their contributions. Carly Simon, Gladys Knight, Tina Turner, Sheryl Crow and Madonna are among the singers who have never threatened to match their greatest pre-Bond successes in their post-Bond careers.

As for the last in the series, can anyone, with hand on heart, remember with great affection You Know My Name by the former Soundgarden singer Chris Cornell, which announced Daniel Craig’s arrival as Bond in Casino Royale?

Kevin Ferguson (born on February 8, 1974), better known as Kimbo Slice, is a Miami, Florida-based street fighter turned mixed martial arts (MMA) fighter. He first appeared in several filmed underground fights which have spread primarily on the Internet. Kimbo has since left street fighting behind and is now putting his efforts towards becoming a professional mixed martial arts fighter. Rolling Stone called Slice "The King of the Web Brawlers".

Slice is the father of six children: three girls and three boys. His first two sons are named Kevin, and the third is named Kevlar. His three daughters are named Kassandra, Kiara, & Kevina.

Mr. T was born Laurence Tureaud in Chicago, Illinois, the youngest boy in a large family with twelve children.

Tureaud worked as a bouncer after he returned from the army. It was at this time that he created the persona of "Mr. T." His wearing of gold neck chains and other jewellery was the result of customers losing the items, leaving them behind at the bar/night club after a fight, or being removed from the place. A customer would not have to re-enter or even have to see anyone else again if Mr. T wore their jewellery as he stood out front. When a customer came back, their item was readily visible and available with no further confrontations required. Often, the "former" customers did not return. Mr. T thus built up a large collection and earned a reputation for wearing lots of gold neck chains and bracelets. As a bodyguard, Tureaud's business card read, "Next to God, there is no greater protector than I."

"Right, Said Fred" was the third release by and a big hit for Bernard Cribbins. Although he had a very transient career as a recording artist, Cribbins was already a name as a character actor and comedian when this song made the UK singles chart in 1962; he would later go on to become a narrator and children's TV presenter.

"Right, Said Fred" was written by the team of composer Ted Dicks and lyricist Myles Rudge. The song is narrated by one of three workmen who are moving an unnamed and quite awkward object. Eventually, after all but demolishing the client's house, they give up and go home, or at least two of them do. The song satirizes the stereotypical British tradesman of the time.

This song was produced by George Martin, who also produced the Beatles. In 1989, the Fairbrass brothers named their new group "Right, Said Fred".

Dexy's Midnight Runners' song "Jackie Wilson Said (I'm in Heaven When You Smile)", a cover of a Van Morrison tune, reached the top 5 in the UK singles chart. When the band performed this single on the BBC TV music show Top Of The Pops, which was broadcast live, there was an infamous mix-up (or deliberate prank) by the BBC engineers in charge of the background graphics. Instead of a picture of Jackie Wilson, the American soul singer, the band performed in front of a photo of Jocky Wilson, the Scottish darts player.

Walmart is the world's largest corporation by revenue. The first store open on 2nd July 1962 in Arkansas. Within five years the company had expanded to stores across the state and reached $12.6bn in sales. By 1968 the first store outside Arkansas had been open in Oklahoma.

By its 25th anniversary in 1987 there were 1,198 stores with sales of $15.9 billion and 200,000 employees.

In 2005, Wal-Mart had $312.4 billion in sales, more than 6,200 facilities around the world—including 3,800 stores in the United States and 2,800 elsewhere, employing more than 1.6 million workers worldwide. Its U.S. presence grew so rapidly that only small pockets of the country remained further than 60 miles (100 km) from the nearest Wal-Mart.

Click this link just to see how Walmart spread across the United States like wild fire... it starts slow and then just explodes! Quite amazing.

http://projects.flowingdata.com/walmart/

...for that "I-must-have-fallen-asleep-at-my-desk-because-I-work-so-damn-hard" look

the pillow that's a book... woweeeeeee

I have long suspected that British humour is by far and away the best in the world and that Johnny Foreigner just doesn't quite get it. Well now I can begin to understand why. It is all in the origins of the jokes, you see...

"THE world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests toilet humour was as popular with the ancients as it is today.

It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second - "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

Ummm. No, me neither.

But if you ever needed proof that British humour is the best in the world, you can go right back to the very first home grown gag from 10th century:

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

I, rather worryingly perhaps, thought that was quite funny.

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,24106126-38200,00.html

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is one of the oldest and most famous joke riddles still in use in the English language. The most common answer to this riddle is "To get to the other side." When asked at the end of a series of other riddles, whose answers are clever, obscure, and tricky, this answer's obviousness and straight-forwardness becomes part of the humor. Some psychologists believe the riddle's humor comes from the fact that its answer is expected to be funny, but is not.

Some variations work by elaborating on the circumstances of the event described by the joke: "Why did the chewing gum cross the road?" "Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot."

Others employ anti-humor by giving a "rational" answer that is also absurd: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Because it had no frontal lobe."

Other variants go for shock value: "Why did the dead baby cross the road?" "Because it was stapled to the chicken."

Having entertained the nation for 42 years, exactly two years ago today the BBC called time on a British institution – Top of the Pops. Revelling in success throughout the 60s, 70s and 80s, TOTP suffered and unfortunate decline of viewers in the late 90s - mainly due to the arrival of 24/7 MTV which towered over the 30 minutes of pop star viewage available on terrestrial TV during the week, giving us round the clock action of our favourite popstrals.

Fear not though, in 2004 there was a DVD Released called Top of the Pops: 40th Anniversary. It features one song for each year to celebrate its 40th Anniversary, which may allow you to relive your favourite TOTP moments, including these little gems (but not forgetting the incredibly poor attempt at lip-syncing):

- A possessed looking Kate Bush performing her debut of Wuthering Heights – screechy voice, dilated pupils, sat cross-legged in a dry ice wilderness*.

- Nirvana's Kurt Cobain dropping an octave and solemnly singing "Load up on drugs, kill your friends", whilst performing Smells Like Teen Spirit**.

- Crooner Barry Manilow belting out his classic Bermuda Triangle ("try and see it from my angle"), stood in an inflatable Argos paddling pool***.

* classy, ** classier, *** classiest

A lot of people think KFC no longer use the word 'chicken' to describe its product because it serves meat from genetically engineered animals that the US government will no longer permit to be referred to as 'chickens'. Emails like this did the rounds:

First of all, has anybody noticed that just recently, the company has changed their name? Kentucky Fried Chicken has become KFC. Does anybody know why? We thought the real reason was because of the "FRIED" food issue. It's not. The reason why they call it KFC is because they can not use the word chicken anymore. Why? KFC does not use real chickens. They actually use genetically manipulated organisms. These so called "chickens" are kept alive by tubes inserted into their bodies to pump blood and nutrients throughout their structure. They have no beaks, no feathers, and no feet. Their bone structure is dramatically shrunk to get more meat out of them. This is great for KFC because they do not have to pay so much for their production costs. There is no more plucking of the feathers or the removal of the beaks and feet. The government has told them to change all of their menus so they do not say chicken anywhere. If you look closely you will notice this. Listen to their commercials, I guarantee you will not see or hear the word chicken. I find this matter to be very disturbing. I hope people will start to realize this and let other people know. Please forward this message to as many people as you can. Together we make KFC start using real chicken again.

I'd like to think this was true. Unfortunately it's not.

Kentucky Fried Chicken decided to change its name to KFC in 1991 for several reasons, none of which had anything to do with governmental regulations about mutant animals:

- A move to de-emphasize "chicken" because KFC planned to offer a varied menu that included other types of food. (The Boston Chicken corporation took the same approach for the same reason, changing their name of its retail food outlets to Boston Market.)
- A desire to eliminate the word "fried," which has negative connotations to the increasingly health-conscious consumer market.
- A recent trend towards the abbreviation of long commercial titles, as demonstrated by other companies' employing shortened forms of their names, such as The International House of Pancakes (IHOP) and Howard Johnson's (HoJo).

I have been looking at this website recently - far too much!

It is a collection of notes that people have left for other people, usually because they are annoyed with them but don't want to speak to them. It doesn't sound that interesting, granted, but I have now read all 60+ web pages! Believe me, it will suck you in after a few pages: BE WARNED!

This is one of my favourites:


I wonder if it would have been alright if she wasn't fat?

The people at Art Lebedev Studio decided to make a remote control, but not just any remote control, the world's longest remote control.

The monster they came up with measures in at just under 20 inches but luckily, by adding the numbers 1 - 99 instead of the standard 0 - 9 they managed to pill up the space.

long stuff

For those who are playing - I am sorry.

For those who aren't - you are now.

Not too long ago, there was a small furor in the local media about a major disaster at The State’s Technology Services Division.…When employees of The State came in to work following a three day weekend, they found their workstations overloaded with “cannot logon” and “Exchange communication” error messages. The Network Services folks had it even worse: the server room was a sweltering 109° Fahrenheit and filled with dead or dying servers….They worked day and night to order new equipment, build new servers, and restore everything from back-up. Countless overtime hours and nearly two hundred thousand dollars in equipment costs later, they managed to bring everything back online. When the Exchange servers were finally restored, the following email finally made its way to everyone’s inbox:

From: ----- -----------
To: IT Department
Re: A/C constantly running.

To whom it may concern,

I came in today (Monday) to finish up a project I was
working on before our big meeting with the State -----
Commission tomorrow,and I noticed that there were three
or four large air conditioners running the entire time I
was here. Since it's a three day weekend,no one is around,
why do we need to have the A/C running 24/7?

With all the power that all those big computers in that
room use, I doubt it is really eco-friendly to run those
big units at the same time. And all computers have cooling
fans anyway, so why put the A/C for the building in that
room?

I got a keycard from [the facility manager’s] desk and shut
off the A/C units. I'm sure you guys can deal with it being
warm for an hour or two when you come in tomorrow morning.

In the future, let's try to be a little more conscientious
of our energy usage!

Thanks,
-----

As for the employee who sent it, he decided to take an early
retirement.

http://thedailywtf.com/Articles/Im-Sure-You-Can-Deal.aspx

In January 2002, while a junior in high school, Gallivan demonstrated that a single piece of toilet paper, 4000 ft (1200 m) in length, can be folded in half twelve times. This was contrary to the popular conception that the number of times any piece of paper could only be folded in half was limited to eight times. She also folded a single square sheet of gold foil in half twelve times. Not only did she provide the empirical proof, but she also derived an equation that yielded the width of paper needed in order to fold a piece of paper of thickness any number of times.

Some old favourites:

BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your
hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct. And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten' s first name?
Contestant: Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song
What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and'cheesemongers'
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset
with you.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er. .. .
Wood: It's got two syllables . . . Kor . . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . .
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?

DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL)
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller: Japan .
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that,
I can let you try again.
Caller: Er .... Mexico ?

JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ERR...ERR...
Three?

ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a
famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry; I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .

THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: - Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all
written books about their experiences in what: -
Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.

RTE RADIO 2FM ( IRELAND )
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about
pensioners:
Last Of The...?
Caller: Mohicans.

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France .
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is
the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris .

Gary’s dad: Where are you going?

Lisa: To a party.
Gary: To a movie.

Gary: Movie party, is what it is.

Lisa: No. I've whipped up this nasty soiree at his friend Wyatt's house.

Gary’s dad: Soir what?

Gary’s mom: Soiree, honey. I think that means party.

Lisa: There's going to be sex, drugs, rock n' roll... chips, dips, chains, whips... Your basic high school orgy. I'm not talking candle wax on the nipples... Just hundreds of kids running around in their underwear acting like animals.

Gary’s dad: I've heard enough! Gary, get to your room!

Gary: Yes, sir!

Lisa: It's okay. I'll handle this.

Gary’s dad: Girlie, get out before I throw you out.

Lisa: Don't threaten me, Al! You're out of shape. I'll kick your ass. I'm going to make this real easy for you. I'm taking Gary to a party.

Gary’s dad: Over my dead body.

Lisa: He's a good kid. He studies hard. If anybody should be bitching, it should be Gary. You ever compliment him on his grades? Or on anything?

Gary: Hey! Hey! Compliments embarrass me.

Lisa: Shut up!
Gary’s dad: Shut up!

Lisa: It's so sad that your son's only sexual outlet is tossing off to magazines in the bathroom.

Gary’s mom: Oh, Gary!

Gary: I never tossed off!

Gary’s mom: You said you were combing your hair!

DR. RUMACK: All right, now we know what we're up against. Every passenger on this plane who ate fish for dinner will become violently ill within the next half hour.

Oveur looks down at his dinner tray and sees skeleton of the fish he just ate.

ELAINE: Just how serious is it, doctor?

DR. RUMACK: Extremely serious. It starts with a slight fever.

Oveur experiences what the doctor is describing.

DR. RUMACK: Then a dryness in the throat. As the virus penetrates the red blood cells the victim becomes dizzy and begins to experience a rash and itching. From there the poison works its way into the central nervous system causing severe muscle spasms, followed by the inevitable drooling. At this point, the entire digestive system is rendered useless, causing the complete collapse of the lower bowels, accompanied by uncontrollable flatulence...until finally the poor bastard is reduced to a quivering, wasted piece of jelly.

Oveur passes out and pitches forward onto the controls. Rumack and Elaine lose balance as plane dives.

From the NY Metro:

"A video showing an NYPD officer violently shoving a bicyclist [Christopher Long] to the ground during Friday’s Critical Mass bike ride has been viewed by thousands on YouTube. While police investigate what happened, the officer has been stripped of his badge and gun."

"When it was over, Long was charged with attempted assault, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct, his lawyer David Rankin said."

Are you kidding?!!

I notice James has used the strap line "We're a bunch of douche bags living in London" for The Last Turkey. I only recently found out what a douche bag is on a trip to America. In case you don't know, maybe this advert will help explain.

Though to his many true believers he never went away- Chesney is making a comeback. If like me ‘the one and only’ has formed the bedrock of your narrow yet eclectic CD library (Chesney single, Twin Peaks Theme Tune (vocal and instrumental) Roxette’s Greatest Hits (sadly stolen to order from my car, or a crack addict with taste who touched nothing else)), these past twenty years imagine what a full album worth of hits will do- never again will you need to buy another CD, no more agonising over the 10 CD ‘Classical Music from the Adverts’ in the back of the Sunday Times Magazine, no more nagging feeling of inadequacy that you can’t quite master i-tunes and don’t dare to use an unauthorised download site.



Cynics may mock that Ches has decided to kick off his new album with the track ‘Overrated’ but if its half as good as ‘the one and only’ I’ll be bench-pressing to it (irregularly), getting married to it (probably more frequently), bathing the kids to it (my own) and smouldering gently to it (as the curtain closes behind my shagpile lined coffin). So throw away the 10 gig pod, trade down to a first generation device, download ‘the one and only’ and ‘overrated’, dust off the air guitar and hit repeat (if after a few years you fancy a change look no further than the shuffle button)



http://www.chesneyhawkes.co.uk

It should have been the perfect spy. But the CIA's attempt to use a surgically altered cat as a covert bugging device fell at the first hurdle - when it was run over by a taxi.

Nicknamed "Acoustic Kitty", the audacious scheme was one of a number of bizarre projects dreamt up by military scientists in the latter days of the Cold War, according to documents newly released by the US National Security Archive. A domestic cat was wired up with control and transmission equipment designed to turn it into a mobile "eavesdropper" capable of listening in on conversations by using its tail as an antenna.

In an account related in a new book by US intelligence historian Dr Jeffrey Richelson, a former CIA agent explains that the experiment was not an unqualified success.

Victor Marchetti, an ex-officer with the agency, recalls: "They slit the cat open, put batteries in him, wired him up. The tail was used as an antenna. They made a monstrosity. They tested and tested him. They found he would walk off the job when he got hungry, so they put another wire in to override that.

"Finally, they're ready. They took it to a park and said, `listen to those two guys. Don't listen to anyone else - not the birds, not cat or the dog - just those two guys!'

"Then they put him out of the van, and a taxi comes and runs him over!"

Marchetti's testimony is one of several relating to the failed experiment quoted in Dr Richelson's book, The Wizards of Langley: The CIA's Directorate of Science and Technology.

"Acoustic Kitty" was by no means the biggest failure in the annals of CIA espionage. Others chronicle the use of mind control drugs that led to the suicide of an Army scientist, and futile attempts to use poison pens and exploding seashells to assassinate Cuban leader Fidel Castro.

This is a true story from my weekend.

On Saturday, I went to Roderick Charles to buy a new suit. I liked the fit of the suit jacket so the tailor asked me: "Would sir like to try on the trousers?" I did.

On returning from the changing from, the tailor asked "How do the trousers fit sir?" I said they were fine. He put his fingers down the front of the 36"-waist and said "Mmm... they're a bit tight on you sir. Would sir mind if I got them taken out by half an inch?" Realising I was a fat bastard, I said OK.

The tailor then said with a straight face: "Many of our customers played a lot of sport in their youth, like you sir, so are quite muscular down their sides".

With that I bought two suits.

As the cash desk, I then noticed he'd written that the trousers should be taken out three quarters of an inch. Cheeky bastard.

I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me... It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word.

She said, 'I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me.'

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, 'We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.'

And the moral of this story is:

Always keep your condoms in your car.

For those who haven't seen this already...

Back story...

Christian was a lion purchased in 1969 by two Australians living in London, John Rendall and Anthony 'Ace' Bourke from Harrods department store. They had discovered him for sale in Harrods' exotic pets department and, concerned for his conditions and fate, decided to buy him.

Rendall, Bourke and their girlfriends Jennifer Mary and Unity Jones cared for the lion until it was a year old.

Christian's increasing size and the cost of looking after him led them to the realization that they could not keep him in London for much longer.

The solution came when Bill Travers and Virginia McKenna, stars of the film Born Free, visited Rendall and Bourke's furniture shop, where Christian spent his days. They suggested that they ask the assistance of George Adamson, the Kenyan conservationist who, together with his wife Joy, was the subject of their movie.

Adamson agreed to help them rehabilitate Christian into the wild at his compound at Kora National Reserve.

Adamson slowly introduced Christian to an older lion 'Boy' and subsequently to a female cub in order to form the nucleus of a new pride. This approach was successful and over the course of several years the pride established itself in the region around Kora.

Sometime after Christian was released back in to wild and Randall and Bourke went back to see how he was getting on. Unfortunately, Christian had not been seen for 9 months by anyone. But, amazingly, Christian and his pride had returned to Adamson's compound the day before their arrival. This video shows the now wild Christian as he comes face to face with his former “parents” for the first time in a year...

The reunion lasted until the next morning when everyone went to bed. According to Rendall that was the last anyone saw of Christian.

A young man walked up and sat down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" the bartender inquired.
"I want 6 shots of Jagermeister," responded the young man.
"6 shots?!? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yeah, my first blowjob," the man answered.
"Well, in that case, let me give you a 7th on the house."
..."No offense, sir. But if 6 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

Create your own at FaceInHole

Britain's laziest and least known political guru, James finds the power of hindsight a useful tool when proving that he did actually predict the future. Interests include extremely pointless trivia, shadenfraude, World War Two, politics and any and every sport under the sun. His greatest achievements include invented the "Birthday game" and it's perfect point scoring system, holding the UK All-comers record for rib eating at "Big'uns" (allegedly) and being Britain's premier player of "The Game" (damn!!).

His favourite shows include You've been Framed, Harry Hill's TV Burp, Spoooks and anything with Michael J Fox in it. Posts on The Last Turkey you should look out for by James include anything that depicts someone's great misfortune, incredibly pointless but amazing incidents usually involving a ball, amusing newspaper stories and furious angry rants about Bill O'Reilly. An interesting fact about is that while James can tell you the height of Mount Everest in feet or the year the London Underground opened he has absolutely no idea who Alan Cumming is.

We're a band of tough ball busters and name takers who live in London. As friends and family, we've been sending each other pant-browning jokes and brain-numbing factiods on a daily basis, so have decided to refocus on a blog. Many of us have experience of writing blogs in the past.

About each contributor:

James G

James E

LoveClaudiaXXX

The Love Monkey

Alvin

Daddy Cool

Y-Fron(t)s

George