THE LAST TURKEY

Glendale, CA - Kick Ass Pictures, a Los Angeles-based adult entertainment company, is offering internet singing sensation Susan Boyle $1 million to lose her virginity on camera. Ms. Boyle became an instant superstar this week when footage of her incredible singing on "Britain's Got Talent" was viewed by tens of millions of people on the internet.

Kick Ass is so confident that she will accept the offer that they have already set up the web site SusanBoyleXXX.com where people can vote on the movie's title (e.g. Desperately Shagging Susan, Never Been Banged), theme song (e.g. Madonna's Like a Virgin, Foreigner's Feels Like the First Time) and co-star, among other things.

The 47-year-old Ms. Boyle claims that she's never been kissed. "The logical extension of that statement is that she's still a virgin," said Kick Ass president Mark Kulkis. "We have always wanted to produce a movie in which a bona fide virgin loses her maidenhood on camera. That's a very personal, intimate moment in a woman's life. Doing it in front of bright lights and cameras in a San Fernando Valley studio will make it that much more special."