Two surgeons are having a drink.
One surgeon says to the other, "What do you specialise in?"
The other surgeon says, "Appendixes, its quite simple a little snip here, a little snip there and bobs your Uncle" he then says, "What do you specialise in?"
The other surgeon says, "Sex changes, its not quite the same but its still simple, a little snip here, a little snip there and bobs your Auntie".
One of the best lines from one of the best films in cinema history.
Some say Arnold's work compares to Gielgud's. I now see why.
I always thought this was his weakest character, but this trailer does look funny.
One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."
Herb decided to propose to Sandi , but prior to her acceptance Sandi had to confess to her man about her childhood illness.
She informed Herb that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at the maturity of a 12 year old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her sooo much.
However, Herb felt this was also the time for him to open up and admit that he had a deformity too. Herb looked Sandi in the eyes and said...
"I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married."
She said, "Yes, I will marry you and learn to live with your infant size penis."
Sandi and Herb got married and they could not wait for the honeymoon.
Herb whisked Sandi off to their hotel suite and they started touching, teasing, holding one another... As Sandi put her hands in Herb's pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room!
Herb ran after her to find out what was wrong.
She said, "You told me your penis was the size of an infant!"
"Yes, it is..." exclaimed Herb, "8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long."
