THE LAST TURKEY

A little chewy

2011-10-21T12:00:00.000+01:00

Marriage..

2011-10-14T12:43:00.001+01:00

Twitter.....

2011-10-07T16:00:00.002+01:00

2010-07-11T20:09:00.001+01:00

Being a girl = a little more hope

2010-07-11T15:58:00.000+01:00

Errrrrr.......

2010-05-17T13:47:00.002+01:00

Nigerian Dancing

2010-05-07T15:57:00.000+01:00

These kids are dancing like nobody’s watching. The only catch is the entire internet is watching them. Because they are awesome.

Sum Ting Wong

2010-04-20T19:32:00.001+01:00

2010-03-21T15:26:00.001Z

Hey Scotty...

2010-02-24T12:45:00.000Z

Bored at work?

2010-02-08T15:28:00.003Z

1. Collect some dead flies from the office window sills
2. Dry them in the sun for an hour
3. When they are dry you will need pencil, paper and a vivid imagination, examples below....

Bill and George, two old men just trying their best

2010-02-03T12:51:00.000Z

The British Rail flying saucer

2010-02-02T16:12:00.003Z

Not content with merely ruining our daily commute between rural and urban areas throughout the UK, once upon a time British Rail wanted to cause us misery on an intergalactic scale...

The British Rail flying saucer, officially known simply as space vehicle, was a proposed spacecraft designed by Charles Osmond Frederick. A patent application was filed by Jensen and Son on behalf of British Rail on 11 December 1970 and granted on 21 March 1973. The flying saucer originally started as a proposal for a raiseable platform. However, the project was revised and edited, and by the time the patent was filed had become a large passenger craft for interplanetary travel.

More at the usual place...

Le velo magique

2010-02-01T11:57:00.001Z

Makes you proud to be British

2010-01-20T13:53:00.001Z

Yank likes Tetleys... is this a joke?

2010-01-19T16:49:00.000Z

Redneck Bohemian Rhapsody

2010-01-18T12:43:00.001Z

Rick Gervais hosts the Golden Globes

2010-01-18T12:42:00.000Z

Bellatrix Shows How It's Done

2010-01-17T16:55:00.000Z

If You've Got a Problem...

2010-01-16T23:02:00.000Z

The big question is, will it keep to the fun action of the 1980s or have to producers ruined it? We'll find out on 30th July.

Rémi Gaillard

2010-01-14T17:31:00.000Z

Top 10 Places YOU Can’t Go In The World

2010-01-13T10:39:00.000Z

The top 10 places you and I will probably never get to go...

http://www.cracktwo.com/2010/01/top-10-places-you-cant-go-in-world.html

Ladies and Gentlemen, the world's most annoying Cockeral

2010-01-08T09:55:00.001Z

2009: Year of the Fail

2010-01-05T09:36:00.001Z

The Wagah Border

2010-01-04T21:05:00.000Z

The Wagah border, often called the "Berlin wall of Asia", is a ceremonial border on India–Pakistan Border, where each evening, there is a retreat ceremony called 'lowering of the flags'. At that time there is a very energetic and thrilling parade by the Border Security Force (B.S.F), India and the Pakistan Rangers soldiers. It may appear slightly aggressive and even hostile to foreigners, but it really is just spectacular entertainment for the crowds with grandstands having been built on both sides. Troops of each country put on quite an entertaining show in their uniforms with their colorful turbans. Border officials from the two countries sometimes walk over to the offices on the other side for day to day affairs. The happenings at this border post have been a barometer of the India-Pakistan relations over the years.

X-Rated Ruby

2010-01-02T16:17:00.000Z

2010-01-02T15:25:00.001Z

A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to put his name on his mailbox. While he was there,an attractive young lady in a robe came out of her apartment next to the mailboxes.
The guy smiled at the young woman, and she started a conversation with him. As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on.

The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment. I hear someone coming."

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It's got to be your ears."

Astounded and a little hurt, she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day, and my butt is firm and solid. Look at my skin -- no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"

Clearing his throat, he stammered..."Outside, when you said you heard someone coming... That was me."

The political slot

2009-12-23T14:24:00.000Z

Rock out with your Christmas c*ck out

2009-12-17T13:23:00.001Z

Steorn project continues

2009-12-16T11:11:00.004Z

Stoern, the firm that believe they have created what is effectively a perpetual motion machine, are doing another demonstartion in Ireland all this week. After the fiasco at Spitalfields a couple of years back, I won't be holding my breath, but I have to admire their perseverance with pushing such a bonkers idea in such a public forum.

More info here.

This is what Christmas is all about...

2009-12-14T13:25:00.001Z

More student pranks

2009-12-14T12:59:00.001Z

Rwandan Grand Prix

2009-12-14T12:56:00.002Z

Nice little stop motion video, watch out for the internet meme star cameo appearance...

With all due respect...

2009-12-14T12:54:00.002Z

The Irish Parliament has a grown up debate:

Cuckoo!?

2009-12-10T13:58:00.001Z

Lesson One...

2009-12-10T13:23:00.001Z

Merry Christmas one and all

2009-12-10T12:56:00.001Z

Sketchy Santa from Coty Gonzales on Vimeo.

Mr Munch

2009-12-03T16:22:00.001Z

Chris Hunt, 26, has changed his name to Mr Monster Munch after a dare by friends.

Mr Hunt, or Mr Munch as he is now officially called, enjoys a packet of pickled onion Monster Munch for breakfast, a roast beef Monster Munch sandwich for lunch, and a bag of Flamin' Hot Monster Munch for his dinner.

"I just can't get enough of them," the Daily Telegraph reported Mr Munch as saying. "I love all the flavours, but admit roast beef is a particular favourite.

"I used to just eat three bags of roast beef a day, but I decided I needed a bit of variety in my life, so now I vary the flavours between breakfast, lunch and dinner."

"I make sure I eat a balanced diet. I just don't want to give up Monster Munch. I loved them when I was a lad and when they brought out the new retro packs I must admit my heart skipped a beat.

Sadly, or maybe that should be brilliantly, this is not a spoof. MSN News

Bill Dance Outdoors

2009-12-03T14:35:00.001Z

Bill Dance Outdoors is a fishing television series hosted by retired professional tournament angler Bill Dance. Each episode focuses on various aspects of recreational fishing techniques, usually targeting black bass species such as Largemouth and Smallmouth bass, though does occasionally focus on other species such as Channel catfish and Bluegill. Each episode is about half an hour long, and will occasionally include viewer mail, product advertisement, and tips & tricks segments along with the primary topic of the particular episode. WIKI

Oh, and by the way, he is the most accident prone man on planet Earth. As far as I can tell, having read up on the man, these are all 100% real...

Go on then, have some more Fast Show...

2009-11-27T16:24:00.001Z

It's A Right Royal Cockney Barrel Of Monkeys

2009-11-27T16:07:00.001Z

Ah the Fast Show, brilliant.

Explain this...

2009-11-27T12:33:00.000Z

Fox News strikes again

2009-11-27T09:42:00.003Z

OK, I know what you're thinking - this must have been photoshopped or taken out of context. Even the absolute numbskulls at the manipulative, truth twisting Fox Corporation couldn't be this stupid. Think again...

The Muppets: Bohemian Rhapsody

2009-11-25T15:06:00.001Z

Schwarzenegger's Slapdown Prank

2009-11-23T22:15:00.002Z

If there's one thing we learned from terrorists in the eighties, it's that you don't piss off Arnold Schwarzenegger. We never learned a second thing, because they were dead by then.

San Fransisco assembly member Tom Ammiando found this out after insulting the Governator, who responded by shooting down Tom's financial restructuring bill with the above letter.

The best bit is that this was only Stage One in a multiple prank warhead. When asked about it, Schwarzenegger's spokesman said:

"My goodness, what a coincidence that it would say something along the left-hand margin. But I suppose when you do some many vetoes, something like this is bound to happen."

When someone starts a not-apology with "My Goodness," they've just verbally slapped your other cheek and said "You're damn right I did it and I still think it's funny."

If the Earth had Saturn-like rings...

2009-11-23T13:20:00.003Z

Split seconds

2009-11-23T12:07:00.000Z

Do not try this at home

2009-11-23T12:06:00.001Z

RIP Edward Woodward

2009-11-16T22:22:00.002Z

If I was a good boy, I was allowed to stay up late to watch The Equalizer on ITV. Interestingly, the theme tune was written by Stewart Copeland, drummer of The Police.

Time to feel awesome!

2009-11-12T13:19:00.001Z

I recommend this work out every morning before work:

All your favourite Simpsons songs mashed up

2009-11-12T13:17:00.001Z

Track List:
01. The Simpsons Main Title Theme
02. Flaming Moe's
03. We Love To Smoke
04. Testify
05. The Simpsons End Credit tHeme (Hill St Blues Homage)
06. Plow King
07. Senor Burns
08. Krusty The Clown Main Title
09. A Boozehound Named Barney
10. Canyohero (w/ Hank Williams, jnr)
11. The Simpsons End Credit Theme (Its A Mad,Mad,Mad,Mad World Homage)

Don't always rely on the autocue...

2009-11-11T09:43:00.004Z

Ladies and Gentlemen, Ken Bastida filling in for Dana King; but why, you may ask..?

Bastida became an internet celebrity for an on-air gaffe in 2008, in which he read a teleprompter incorrectly and seemed to inform viewers that his co-anchor Dana King was not in the studio because she had been "murdered and set on fire while celebrating his birthday". Wikipedia

Lock Up Your Daughters

2009-11-07T23:32:00.001Z

Seen the The Straits Times when I was in Malaysia last week. Cancel Mr Olympia, Mr Singh is taking over.

Sexy War Time

2009-11-03T13:02:00.000Z

2009-11-02T20:54:00.001Z

A white guy walks into the plastic surgeon's office and asks, "I want to be black. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, but we'll have to add two inches to your penis, take away 30% of your brain and make you 70% darker."

"Okay."

After the operation, the surgeon says, "I'm sorry, but we've made some mistakes. We cut off two inches off your penis, took away 70% of your brain and made you 30% darker. Is this okay with you?"

"Si, senor."

The I Say Team

2009-10-23T19:51:00.001+01:00

What if The A-Team were English..?

NZ Police Officer... is this a joke?!

2009-10-23T16:47:00.001+01:00

Safer communities together...

Nick Griffin on Question Time

2009-10-23T16:38:00.002+01:00

Student Masterchef

2009-10-23T16:38:00.001+01:00

Sniper Prank

2009-10-20T13:26:00.001+01:00

All Things Bright and Beautiful

2009-10-20T13:17:00.001+01:00

Chat room banter

2009-10-20T13:04:00.001+01:00

The Prophecy of Rod Hull

2009-10-20T13:00:00.002+01:00

What's that Rod? You need to go up on the roof and fix the aerial?

Yikes!!

2009-10-20T12:59:00.000+01:00

Clitter!

2009-10-15T16:46:00.000+01:00

Queen: Live Aid 1985

2009-10-15T13:39:00.004+01:00

Often cited as the greatest live performance by a band of all time, in July 1985 Queen took the stage at Wembley stadium for a performance that continues to set the bench mark for live music.

Hidden camera stunt goes wrong

2009-10-15T11:33:00.000+01:00

Geek Hop

2009-10-15T11:32:00.003+01:00

Serious Chelsea interview

2009-10-15T11:32:00.002+01:00

Anyone for tennis?

2009-10-12T15:01:00.001+01:00

Ladies: This chap is a real catch

2009-10-12T15:00:00.001+01:00

Classic Fail

2009-10-11T22:32:00.000+01:00

Happy stairs

2009-10-08T13:44:00.001+01:00

Take That

2009-10-08T08:45:00.000+01:00

The sucker punch comes at 1:20.

Bracelet for Sale

2009-10-07T17:29:00.001+01:00

Blunt Trauma

2009-10-07T17:23:00.001+01:00

Why I will always refuse to be a best man.

Funny Frenchies and their adverts

2009-10-07T11:06:00.001+01:00

Perhaps the greatest busker of all time

2009-10-07T11:05:00.001+01:00

Some Radio Fails

2009-10-07T11:04:00.000+01:00

Funny clips from gaffes on the radio. I like.

http://www.radiofail.tk/

Raymond of Oz

2009-09-29T18:53:00.001+01:00

Simply the most fun you can with Judy Garland and my father in law Ray.

Famous moments in US sport: Rodney McCray's "catch"

2009-09-24T10:49:00.001+01:00

Rodney McCray runs through a wall
Uploaded by Pf94. -

Fart Misdirection

2009-09-23T21:05:00.000+01:00

The sourcing of a fart involves a ritual of assignment that sometimes takes the form of a rhyming game. The trick is to pin the blame on someone else, often by means of deception, or using a back and forth rhyming game that includes phrases such as:

* He who observed it served it.
* He who first ejected it detected it.
* Whoever rhymed it crimed it.
* Whoever spoke last set off the blast.
* Whoever smelt it, dealt it.
* Whoever denied it supplied it.
* The next person who speaks is the person who reeks.
* The smeller's the feller.
* Who sat on a duck?
* The one who said the verse just made the atmosphere worse.
* He who accuses blew the fuses.
* The first chicken that cackles, laid the egg.

And in some cases, blame was laid upon either the dog or the cat.

Chas and Dave

2009-09-22T14:51:00.005+01:00

"One of Britain's longest running and best loved rock acts split up today after Dave announced his retirement from Chas & Dave" - The Telegraph

It's a sad day when of two Britain's finest musicians of all time decide to call it a day. They produced some of the great classics of British music from the past three decades. Ageless tunes such as Gertcha, Rabbit, Romford Rap, Ossie's Dream (Spurs Are On Their Way To Wembley) and so many more. However, my personal favourite has to be the 1986 smash hit "Snooker Loopy".

"Snooker Loopy" is a comic song about snooker. It was released as a single in May 1986 and entered the UK Singles Chart, reaching #6 and featured snooker players Steve Davis, Dennis Taylor, Willie Thorne, Terry Griffiths and Tony Meo, as backing vocalists under the name 'The Matchroom Mob' - Matchroom Sport being the company owned by promoter Barry Hearn which managed all these top snooker professionals at the time.

The lyrics are a mild satire on the style and antics of the players involved: "old Willie Thorne; his hair's all gone" for example. The verse on Steve Davis also makes light of the famous 1985 World Snooker Championship final and his missed black in the final frame.

Chas & Dave still perform the song at their live shows with the original lyrics, even though most of the players mentioned have now retired from the game, although some are still known as part of the BBC commentary team.

Also, an amazing nugget that is not widely known: Chas and Dave played on one the biggest rap singles of all time - My Name Is, by Eminem.

In the seventies Chas & Dave were prolific session musicians before their own thing took off, playing on many albums for a wide range of artists. One such album was Labi Siffre's 'Remember My Song' from 1975. One of the tracks on this album - 'I Got The' - was sampled by Eminem on his breakthrough hit 'My Name Is' and is the main musical refrain of the track. Chas is playing guitar and Dave is playing bass.

Iron Maiden do not lip sync

2009-09-22T13:12:00.002+01:00

After being forced to lip sync on German TV, Iron Maiden were not happy so decided to do this:

Geeks can be funny too...

2009-09-22T12:58:00.000+01:00

Ig Nobel 2006 Medicine Award Hiccups Acceptance Speech

A double dose of "Monday WTF?"

2009-09-21T13:58:00.000+01:00

Dating 80s style

2009-09-15T17:00:00.001+01:00

Fonzie's Been Cloned

2009-09-11T16:00:00.000+01:00

H from Steps: RIP

2009-09-10T16:33:00.002+01:00

First Michael Jackson and now the world of music has lost another great. Rest in Peace H from Steps.

How Derren Brown did it

2009-09-10T13:44:00.003+01:00

I was pretty underwhelmed by Derren Brown's latest trick - "predicting" the lottery numbers. The fact that he told us what numbers he had predicted after the draw had been made really did defeat the whole purpose of the event. There are a number of ways he could have done it, this video being my favourite and I suspect the most probable.

One thing though - this is not Brown's style. Cheap camera trickery can be done by any old fool with a camera and a computer. I suspect or at least hope all this is a mere distraction and that come Friday night the real, much bigger, trick will be revealed.

Chaps, watch and learn from a true gentleman, Captain Kirk

2009-09-10T13:17:00.001+01:00

BREAKING NEWS!!! Clear the schedules!!

2009-09-10T13:15:00.000+01:00

Some bloke at the zoo... boring!

2009-09-09T17:18:00.002+01:00

This is a short video of someone at the zoo. So what you might ask? Well, the only significant thing whatsoever about this video is that is was the very first video ever to be posted on Youtube... apparently.

From wikipedia:

YouTube began as a venture-funded technology startup, primarily from a US$11.5 million investment by Sequoia Capital between November 2005 and April 2006. YouTube's early headquarters were situated above a pizzeria and Japanese restaurant in San Mateo, California. The domain name www.youtube.com was activated on February 15, 2005, and the website was developed over the subsequent months. The first YouTube video was entitled Me at the zoo, and shows founder Jawed Karim at San Diego Zoo. The video was uploaded on April 23, 2005, and can still be viewed on the site.

YouTube offered the public a beta test of the site in May 2005, six months before the official launch in November 2005. The site grew rapidly, and in July 2006 the company announced that more than 65,000 new videos were being uploaded every day, and that the site was receiving 100 million video views per day. According to data published by market research company comScore, YouTube is the dominant provider of online video in the United States, with a market share of around 43 percent and more than six billion videos viewed in January 2009.

Please Help this Prince

2009-08-29T17:06:00.003+01:00

Cool You Tube Mash Up

2009-08-29T17:06:00.001+01:00

Michelle and Barack do what to each other?

2009-08-24T17:10:00.001+01:00

John Rambo's Awards

2009-08-21T14:09:00.001+01:00

In First Blood is mentioned:

1 Medal of Honor

Per dialogue in Rambo: First Blood Part II, during his Vietnam era service, Rambo was awarded:

2 Silver Star
4 Bronze Stars for Valor
4 Purple Heart
1 Distinguished Service Cross
1 Medal of Honor

In a deleted scene from Rambo III, Rambo's "Class A" uniform can clearly be seen with the following 13 ribbons:

Medal of Honor - Awarded two and refused another
Army Distinguished Service Medal
Distinguished Flying Cross
Soldier's Medal
Bronze Star
Purple Heart
Air Medal
Combat Action Ribbon
Vietnam Service Medal
Prisoner of War Medal
Army Service Ribbon
Vietnam Wound Medal
Vietnam Campaign Medal

Various special duty badges can also be seen on Rambo's "Class A" uniform, including:

Combat Infantryman Badge
Aircraft Crewman Badge
Senior Combat Parachutist Badge
Expert Weapons Qualification Badge

Budd Dwyer

2009-08-20T22:42:00.002+01:00

Robert "Budd" Dwyer was an American politician who, on the morning of January 22, 1987, committed suicide by shooting himself in the mouth with a revolver during a televised press conference.

On January 22, 1987, Dwyer called a press conference. Dwyer stopped with his prepared text and called to three of his staffers, giving each an envelope. One of the envelopes contained a suicide note to his wife. The second contained an organ donor card and other related materials. The third contained a letter to Pennsylvania Governor Robert P. Casey, who had taken office only two days before.

After handing out all three envelopes, Dwyer opened a manila envelope and withdrew a .357 Magnum revolver, advising those in the crowd, "Please leave the room if you think this will offend you." Those in attendance cried out to Dwyer, pleading with him to put the gun down; "Budd, don't do this!", "Budd, this is not right!", and "Budd, listen to me!" can be heard off-screen. Some tried to approach him. "Don't, don't, don't, this will hurt someone," he warned. Amid the cry of "Budd, Budd, Budd!" Dwyer put the gun barrel into his mouth and pulled the trigger. He collapsed against a wall in a sitting position, blood pouring from his nose and an exit wound at the top of his head, all in front of five television news cameras while witnesses were screaming and using profanity in shock. Dwyer was declared dead at the scene at 11:31 a.m. EST.

That's not a burger. THIS is a burger

2009-08-20T12:01:00.001+01:00

Yes, it's off to Clearfield PA and Denny's Beer Barrel again...

8000 Calories of Pure Goodness

2009-08-19T22:35:00.001+01:00